


Excursions into Limbo

by mountagrue



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dream Sex, I am the cracken, I very much do not even, Light Angst, Masturbation, Other, Smut and Crack, Tentacle Dick, Tentacle Monsters, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, if I persist in tagging things Smack will it catch on, no beta we saunter vaguely downwards like Crowley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 17:16:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mountagrue/pseuds/mountagrue
Summary: Cr[owley's dreams are sometimes, well, he's pretty sure the technical term is... wh]ack?





	Excursions into Limbo

**Author's Note:**

> This is unlikely to feature very much plot, but I'm going to update whenever I have an idea that seems like it best fits into Crowley's dreams. Might trawl through the crack prompts on the kink meme :3
> 
> I will post individual chapter content warnings in the end-note of each chapter!

Crowley still likes sleeping, although he tries not to go longer than 48 hours these days because Aziraphale worries. They see each other more often now that they're out from under the thumbs of their respective employers, and it's very… Nice. It's nice. They hold hands sometimes, which is. Totally cool. No biggie. Completely and utterly fine. And then he goes home and menaces his plants and, most days, has a bit of a kip.

And sometimes, when Crowley sleeps, he dreams. Sometimes vague sequences of images, sometimes little mind movies.

Sometimes, now, he dreams about the Apocalypse that wasn't. Not that he never did, before, but it was mostly along the lines of slithering through endless hellish corridors looking for Aziraphale, or running from Aziraphale's flaming sword, or sitting through one of Lucifer's interminable infernal board meetings knowing this one will never end. He knew it was really about his own worries.

Now that the thing actually started to happen before abruptly getting yanked off the Earthly stage with a shepherd's crook, he dreams a little more distressingly specific.

He's watching Adam's eyes go red again, and Adam is very seriously telling him that someone has to unionise the snakes of the world and he'd better not grow legs again until he gets it done.

He's pouring buckets of holy water into Aziraphale's burning bookshop, desperately trying to avoid being splashed but he needs to save the books, Aziraphale needs the books, the angel will be all right as long as Crowley can save the books!

He's gone to Alpha Centauri and Aziraphale said he'd be right behind him, and he's waiting, and he's waiting…

Sometimes these dreams are just as bad as the old ones.

Sometimes, though, they're just, well… Honestly kinda weird.

In this one, he's standing on the tarmac at Tadfield and Satan has risen out of the ground, skyscraper tall and furiously red, and he doesn't know where Adam is - so far so Irish Coffee Breakfast - but then out of nowhere there's a roaring, crashing sound and the Kraken surfs in on a tidal wave and tackles the Lord of Hell to the ground.

"Good lord," says Aziraphale next to him.

The various legions of Heaven and Hell are slightly flummoxed.

"I can explain!" Satan booms.

"You never called!" shrieks the Kraken in a voice like a deep-sea vent erupting.

"Well, this is awkward," remarks Beelzebub.

"You owe me," roars the Kraken, enveloping Satan in its muscular tentacles.

"It's not really a great time right now, baby," whines Satan, before emitting a sound that could possibly have been a squeak if it came out of a significantly smaller throat. "Oh wow, okay. Oh! Oh! Dagon, please reschedule my appointments."

There follows a sequence of events that looks like a Hieronymus Bosch painting, sounds like an earthquake only squelchier, and smells simply indescribable.

"Well," says Aziraphale. "It certainly is a great big, er, bugger."

Crowley wakes up to find that he's made an Effort in his sleep, and it's come out a little bit… Squamous.

He stares at his new and tentacularly improved erection for about thirty seconds.

"What the hell," he eventually mutters. "Might be fun."

Tossing it off turns out to be very fun indeed, although it's also very much like wrestling an eel and his bed linens are unrecoverable.

If he's ever going out for sushi with Aziraphale again, he's going to have to repress this incredibly well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: tentacles tentacles tentacles tentacles, slightly dubcon on the kraken/satan front initially.
> 
> Here's the [kink meme prompt](https://good-omens-kink.dreamwidth.org/616.html?thread=852584#cmt852584) if you wanna be my krakenfucking buddy and do another version of it :3


End file.
